new facts –

or; facts only Lucy Ellmann can confirm:

the fact that I don’t take any pride in housework, as far as I know, which isn’t very Amish of me, house-proud Hausfrau, housewife, homemaker, the fact that I come from a long line of people who took no pride in housekeeping,

the fact that when I vacuum I wonder if movie stars ever vacuum, or aliens on other planets, the fact that it’s pretty unlikely we’re the only creatures in the universe bothered by dust after all, the fact that aliens probably think we’re real slobs not to Swiffer our moon more, the fact that it probably drives them bananas having to stare at our dusty old pockmarked little moon for millions and billions of years,

to thine own self be true, the fact that I don’t know if sci-fi books ever get into how to clean up on other planets but I bet microfiber cloths would come in handy, out there in the cosmos, mean dogs,

the fact that ketchup stops rust on cast iron, but I don’t have any cast iron, the fact that kids are much nicer before the age of reason, the fact that the best age is two, the fact that two-year-olds have a sort of politeness to them, when they’re not having tantrums and things, and I like their plump smooth skin and the four dimples on their hands,

Ellmann, Lucy. Ducks, Newburyport . Galley Beggar Press. Kindle Edition.

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